Improving Your Self Confidence

Directed Self-Confidence By Peter Fisher

Did you know you can have high self-confidence?

Many of us don't believe that we can have self-confidence and go through life feeling that we are just 'not good enough', or worse still that we are 'impostors'. We become highly skilled at convincing ourselves that we don't really matter and that we will never amount to anything.

This lack of self-confidence comes at a high price. The fact is that although many people are lacking in self-esteem and feel powerless to do anything about it, they have created the situation for themselves. This self-made poor self esteem needs to be resolved urgently; it affects emotional and physical well-being and really reduces the quality of your life.

Here is how you can move to what I call 'Directed Self-Confidence' and to help you get started think about these questions:

To whom or to what are you comparing yourself?

When you think you are not good enough to whom or to what are you comparing yourself?

What sort of question is that you might say. OK then I have an action for you: The next time you start to think "I'm not good enough", ask yourself: "what exactly does 'good enough' look like? "? Be specific; to what or whom, did you compare yourself when you reached the conclusion that you are not good enough?

Comparing yourself with other people is not the way forward. All you see of other people is their external facade, you have no idea what goes on in their minds. So the next time you fall into this trap, take a deep breath and say "I will only be who I am and only compare myself to how I wish to be". I like and respect myself; I am becoming the person I want to be every day.

This is the way to 'directed self-confidence'.

Do you ever find yourself saying 'nobody likes me'? The feeling that everyone in the world is against you is no laughing matter, but you can get beyond that feeling too. When you meet new people do you dislike all of them or are most of them OK? Probably the latter and if so then the reverse is also likely to be true.

Most people you meet will think you're OK!

Make it even easier by making a conscious effort to think that everyone you meet, you will like. And when you like people you tend to be liked in return. This technique of directed self-confidence rubs off on those around you and you are going to be to always meeting people who like you!

Wouldn't it be wonderful?

Do you find yourself always predicting the worst possible outcome for every new situation you come up against? Are you guilty of 'awfulizing' most situations - you know how it goes: "wouldn't it be awful if... "

Next time you find yourself in this frame of mind just take a moment and try this: "wouldn't it be wonderful if... "

This approach to directed self-confidence may just free you to get on with the wonderful things in your life!

Directed Self-Confidence is something that anyone can adopt. As Shakespeare once said "Assume a virtue and it shall be yours". Self-confidence can be assured by just adopting a positive attitude and this can be life changing. If you don't feel confident at any time all you need to do is act confidently, the pretense of being confident will quickly make you feel more confident.

Peter Fisher is Coach and Webmaster for www.your-career-change.com where you can see how using the right approach to self confidence creates the strongest results for a sustainable career change.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?Directed-Self-Confidence&id=240058

Before The Interview

Before the Interview: How You Can Influence the Result 

You get only one shot at the interview itself, but if it is important you can have as many dry-runs as you need.

Think of it as a rehearsal for a major stage-play. You wouldn't walk on stage without preparing or rehearsing until you were word perfect would you?  So why do people go to interviews which may land them a job with a life-time value of hundreds of thousand of dollars without even the slightest preparation.

This then is how you can influence the result of the interview, before the interview.

One word: PREPARATION.

Research the organization; find out what it does and what THAT job means in THAT organization.

Determine in advance how you can describe your own skills and experience, in meaningful and specific terms, in ways that show you understand their needs and can bring some value to the position.

You do this best by identifying your prior successes, quantifying them with scale and dimensions and then showing the interviewer HOW you can both repeat and improve upon them for the new organization's benefit.

What they want is someone who can add something.

Before the interview you should practice by testing yourself, or get someone else to do it, with difficult questions about your experience, your strengths and weaknesses and how well you have worked with other people in previous employments.

Make sure that you can run quickly through the main points and dates of your CV or Resume - its surprising how many people get their dates wrong then look as if they are making things up.

This is good discipline before the interview because if you are asked the "tell me about yourself" opener, you have an answer without thinking further.

More than this, if the interviewer has not prepared well, this can actually set the agenda for the whole interview.

Finally remember they don't expect you to know everything, but they do expect you to fit in so the way you express yourself and project your personality is more important than absolute knowledge.

 Peter Fisher is an expert Author and Web Master for www.your-career-change.com where you can also find more help with what you need to prepare before, during and after the interview.